The Soap Box: No need to cry over spilled coffee milk – Cross Timbers Gazette | South Denton County | Mound of flowers

“I don’t know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that have happened to me… anecdotes. But never a joke. – Lucille ball

Have you ever felt like your whole life is a comedy of errors with a capital K, impeccable comedic timing, and your name isn’t Lucy?

Even though sometimes it’s really not funny when things go wrong, the laughter that ensues brings specific healing that feels so good inside that you always want more! My family loves helping each other with stories from those who have recently experienced the most unintentional embarrassing moment. It’s all part of the conversation on the holiday table as we catch up with everything that has happened over the past year. We especially love feminine humor and the crazy situations that we women encounter as we seek to improve ourselves in something that exposes the vulnerability of femininity.

For example, once I took an adult tap dance class, I enjoyed the phone calls to my sister after each class more than the class itself. I would tell the story in my own Cajun words, which by definition have to completely exaggerate everything that happened to make her laugh. With her being a skilled dancer and me being good at things like rice and gravy, I found ways to tickle her funny bone with my account of how I behaved in the classroom in the middle of. advanced dancers like her.

Another winning family story is the one my mom shared about when she decided to reintroduce high heels into her wardrobe. The only problem was that once she sank her foot into the first shoe, her other leg caught a terrible cramp and she found herself rolling on the floor of a department store as others stood. were wondering what was wrong with this one-shoe woman. Words alone are not as funny as his storytelling techniques.

My son captured a good one for us while filming me for a business related video. A thick strand of my long bangs ended up in my right nostril as I tried to bring back some analytical data. I’m not sure which was best: the laughs we had back then or the laughs we have watching it to this day, as you can see my face completely disintegrating on camera.

My friend Jane once told her story of being a teenager in a world long before breast implants existed. There was never a dry eye when she added her astute storytelling gift as she took a dip in the pool and one of what she called her “scythes” floated on the surface of the pool. ‘water.

Have you really lived if you haven’t experienced awkward moments in a walk-in closet? I remember one time in a dressing room where a full zipper hung on a $ 500 party dress and the shop owner had to cut it off for me as my blood sugar was dropping and I started to sweat. I think the owner was sweating too, just to cut close enough to the seam to save the dress with a new zipper. This happened to me again, recently, with a brand new dress that I received from an online purchase. My shoulder froze trying to take the dress off and I had to cut it without a seam in sight. Needless to say, there is a cute piece of silk fabric that Mom can now use for her sewing. God rests his soul. It was such a beautiful dress and we had just met. We went to places.

In my friends’ collection of one-uppers, there have been hair extension failures, missing weaves, forgotten false teeth, hair dye incidents and one of my all-time weak spots: the nail polish blunder. My friend left the responsibility of her house to me when she and her whole family took a Caribbean cruise one summer. I decided it would be a good week to paint my nails a beautiful shade of summer eggplant. I had a little toe stumble and the bottle flew off, smashing all over its white tiles and Persian rug.

So this week I can say I have my “one up” story ready for the Thanksgiving table. I won’t admit that I didn’t see the sign saying “No food or drink beyond this point”. Maybe I saw it. Maybe it didn’t really register since I was on the phone when I checked out my wellness visit. Maybe I was just too invested in this $ 4.31 Grand Latte with cap. As I was on the phone and was late the receptionist took me to the back waiting room where I expected to wait a full hour on a plush sofa with live music. elevator. Ultimately! On the phone now, I can drink my coffee in peace and do some homework while I sit here, forgotten, for an hour.

As I lay back and prepare to settle in, here is the nurse. “Brandi? When I emerged to grab my entourage and took a few steps forward, I can’t really describe what happened except that I had sudden PTSD from the incident. eggplant. The slow-motion moment ended with a very disgruntled nurse, a latte infused carpet and a sign that read “No Drinks Allowed” dripping with beautiful milky white coffee.

After I picked up and cleaned up the spill, I walked around the corner where another nurse sat me down and tried to hold it together when she asked, “Are you having caffeine?” Here I was soaked in latte on my clothes and wanted to ask her if she wanted me to bring the answer back in cups a day or in jars.

As women, it’s just too bad that Lucille Ball got all the money to eat chocolates on a conveyor belt and stomp barefoot grapes and get her husband’s hook from show biz. We try to do so much stuff all day long that we often miss our outing, pour soup into saucers and tell our friends how something was on the tip of our tongue and we’ll think about it in a minute !! We could make a million just with what happens to us.

Like Lucy and Ethel, women can create the best memories even when things go wrong. Stories of women like theirs still entertain us today with good old-fashioned comedy about two women found by, say, situations. If you are one of those women, know that you are not alone! Once upon a time there was a famous woman that it was written about: she was clothed with strength and dignity even while laughing at things to come! She wasn’t at all worried in the orb of her multi-tasking world that even any future mishaps would stymie her progress.

Life will always give us situations. My goal is to make sure we get the most out of them by making our special version of them for the Thanksgiving table, sprucing them up with a little creative license to inspire laughter, and both enjoying the good ones. and bad days! It is our vulnerability as women that makes us so special, like a piece of polished pottery ready to adorn a palace. I would be careful with this pottery though. With this big purse, I’m already laughing about a future situation. Happy Thanksgiving from my office to yours, Dear reader.

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