Jase Graves: Eat Your Desserts Right | Homes and lifestyle

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(Caricature by Peter Kuper / caglecartoons.com)

Jase Graves

It all started with the nationwide COVID-19 lockdown in the spring of 2020, and it was one of the few lingering effects of the experience that didn’t tempt me to seek intense electroconvulsive therapy.

You might think I found a renewed sense of oneness with my wife and three teenage daughters – with whom I managed to stay locked up for several weeks without burning my hair and bare wheeling in the street. (I kept my pants on.)

Or maybe you’re guessing I’ve found a new appreciation for the simple things in life — like good books, wide-open spaces, and an underground survival bunker filled exclusively with toilet paper.

While family unity and the hoarding of paper household products have certainly been front and center during quarantine, I have developed a passion for something else that has had an equally profound impact on my well-being. mental, namely the dessert.

Because I wanted to stay away from my family and avoid ending up in one of my daughters’ TikTok videos, I spent a lot of time alone in the kitchen (and not just secretly devouring Girl Scout Cookies a plastic pouch at a time). I decided it was high time for me to learn how to make homemade treats that could lift everyone’s spirits and cholesterol levels.

Since then, I’ve become proficient with a few recipes that are high in carbs, sodium, and other ingredients that make foods worth eating. I even recently bought myself an apron — a black one to pretend to be The pioneer woman AND Batman the same time.

My favorite is an old-fashioned banana pudding recipe my grandma used to make – much to the delight of the family and to the detriment of our belts. I learned that the secret to a good banana pudding is homemade vanilla custard, rather than the inferior instant pudding mix from the box.

It’s important to remember, though, that high-quality custard requires constant stirring of the mixture over low heat long enough to make you wish you had just used the dang instant pudding mix from the box in the first place. .

Unfortunately, there has recently been a local shortage of a key banana pudding ingredient, Nabisco’s iconic Nilla Wafers, which I’m sure is Vladimir Putin’s fault in some way. He clearly doesn’t understand the relationship between artificially flavored cookies and world peace.

When I can’t find mother lode Nilla Wafer at Walmart, I often turn to Chocolate Pie, which is especially popular with my wife and daughters. In fact, they often accuse me of spoiling them, but it’s really that I can’t stand to think of a meal that doesn’t end with an excuse for me to spray whipped topping directly into my mouth.

Of course, making a chocolate pie from scratch requires an accurate measurement of Hershey’s Unsweetened Cocoa Powder. When I was a child, I remember breaking into my grandmother’s pantry and tasting a generous spoonful, the bitter result of which was like suddenly discovering that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. not. (But since he’s real and I learned to bake pie, it’s fine now.)

Making homemade desserts has opened up a whole new world of unhealthy delights for me and my family.

And though my pie sometimes crumbles or my pudding doesn’t set, I always find the strength to overcome disappointment by eating it all myself – for my mental well-being … and world peace.

— Jase Graves is an award-winning humor columnist whose columns have been featured in Texas Escapes magazine, The Shreveport Times in Louisiana, and the Kilgore News Herald and Longview News-Journal in Texas. Contact him at [email protected] or connect with him on Facebook. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

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