A Definitive Guide to the Best Snacks to Eat While High
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In case you haven’t checked the calendar for the past few weeks, 4/20 is just days away. And while the annual celebration of all things weed might not mean much when you smoke every day, it’s still an opportunity to reset yourself and ask yourself some important questions. Does your bong need to be cleaned? Is your weed stored somewhere where it won’t dry out? And perhaps most importantly, are you enjoying your high sessions with a snack worthy of the occasion?
I asked myself this last question while looking in the pantry one recent evening, hoping to find something to satisfy the cravings. The leftovers left a lot to be desired. The only bag of chips was stale. And even my favorite snack when all else has failed, a Clif Brownie Chocolate Bar, looked a little bland as it sat on the shelf. Too lazy (or stoned) to run to the nearest bodega, I settled for a bowl of yogurt and granola, a bite neither satisfying nor disappointing.
Don’t be like me. Instead, refer to this definitive guide to the best snacks to eat while you’re high that I’ve put together just for you. There’s something here for sweet tooths, spice lords, and even stoners who want to eat healthy. And ’cause there’s a chance you’re glued to the couch, more snacks from this list can be ordered from the comfort of your own home. Enjoy 4/20 and every holy day to come.
Use it as a dip for pretzels and graham crackers, spread it on a sandwich with peanut butter, or eat it by the spoonful. Truth be told, there’s no one right way to eat Nutella, but that’s exactly why it tastes so good. Let your imagination run wild and whip up a stoner-foodie concoction or keep it simple and pop it in your mouth straight from the jar. You can’t go wrong no matter how you prefer this famous chocolate hazelnut spread.
Grapes might not be the first food that comes to mind in the middle of a high, but consider this: they’re sweet, perfectly textured with a firm skin and soft pulp, easy to eat in large quantities. and, most importantly, they are not bad for you, unlike traditional rich foods. Enthusiasts freeze them to make them taste better (your mileage may vary) and those with an Amazon Prime account can order them online through Whole Foods for pickup or delivery.
Just because you’re baked doesn’t mean your cookies have to be. Pull out a sharp object and eat the squares as you please instead of burning your cookies while you burn your buds. Sure, there’s the inherent risk of salmonella that everyone seems to worry about, but how many times have you eaten that stuff without getting sick? I’ll answer that for you: enough to know it’s definitely worth it.
Throwing a bag of popcorn in the microwave is a cinch, and it doesn’t help that said bags are riddled with chemicals and additives. Get a little creative in the kitchen with OG popcorn master Orville Redenbacher by whipping up a pot of kernels on the stovetop before adding your own ingredients, from salt and butter to honey and candies. Of course, the process requires a bit more time and patience, but it’s worth it.
Year after year, Oreos reign supreme as the best-selling cookies in the United States, but it’s the many ways to eat an Oreo that make this cookie a stellar snack for smokers (apologies for the alliteration). Eat it the old-fashioned way in a few bites, gently tear it apart to enjoy the filling, dunk it in milk or lick the frosted filling until it disappears. We will not judge how you choose to take advantage of such a proven winner.
Indeed, the chickpea spread that accompanies falafel and pita is incredibly delicious when frozen. Beyond the rich umami flavors and melt-in-the-mouth consistency, hummus is also packed with vitamins and minerals that help fight inflammation, improve blood sugar control and digestive health, and reduce heartburn. risk of heart disease. Pick up a bag of fresh pretzels or pitas at the local bodega and hit the town.
Sometimes your stomach needs more than a snack when you’re toasting, but conjuring up a meal becomes a difficult task, in which case it would be wise to have a packet of Top Ramen on hand. Instant noodles are easy to make in minutes and packed with flavor that’s good on its own or enhanced when you mix your own ingredients together.
Feeling a little whimsical after fading? Do yourself a favor before you bust the weed and order Vosges chocolates in decadent flavors and varieties. My favorite, the chocolate bar library, includes a selection of dark and milk chocolate bars in flavors such as raw honey, matcha green tea, and banana coconut mint.
Again, fruit might not be the first snack that comes to mind, but there’s a reason your favorite candy always tries to replicate the taste of watermelon. It is healthy, juicy and has a triad of flavors (sweet, sour, bitter) that level out and make the taste of the fruit so unique. Do as the southerners do and add a little salt to your melon to bring out the different flavors. And while you can throw a watermelon in your Amazon shopping cart, we recommend finding a ripe one at the nearest grocer.
Lifelong Vermonters (and hippies) Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield say their famous “Half Baked” ice cream was inspired by its mix of chocolate and vanilla ice cream, topped with fudge brownie and cookie dough with chocolate chips, but who are we kidding? It’s clearly a treat for the stoners of the world looking for a decadent ice cream with a name fitting the occasion.
“There comes a time when you need a quick meal, but want a snack with a spicy kick.” Longtime smokers and (adult swimming fans) will remember this Tim and Eric’s ode to pizza rolls, a snack made for those of us who are too stoned to run the oven but more than able to handle the microwave. With flavors like Cheesy Garlic and Meatball Marinara, you can’t go wrong if you give it a try. Be patient and let them cool before they burn the roof of your mouth.
On cold winter nights, when feet of snow kept us from going to bars, we would pack a bowl and put a box of Annie’s on the stove. The organic white cheddar and pasta was a bit more filling than other well known boxed macaroni brands and although the price was a bit higher it reflected the best quality and taste. It’s a personal favorite that takes me back to my college days.
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